Download Lagu Louis C.K. - Sweatpants & Vodka

Lirik Sweatpants & Vodka

I love America, I love it here, I-I
It's not what it used to be
It's kind of a, you know, like, me and my wife and kids, we live in upstate New York
And it's one of these areas where we just, we live, we're in a suburb of Walmart, basically, you know
It's just Walmart and Walgreens and Rent-A-Center
Do you know what Rent-A-Center is?
Do you know what goes on in a Rent-A-Center?
People go to Rent-A-Center to rent like a chair
Or a couch

How shitty is your shitty, shitty, very shitty life
That you need to rent a lamp for 40 bucks a month?
And then you go broke and you gotta go
"Honey, they're gonna take the lamp today"
Because we didn't pay the lamp rent

So I go to Walgreens, just kept going
And Walgreens is depressing because it's a drugstore
But they sell whatever
I go in there, they're sellin' sweatpants
Right when you walk in, big rack of sweatpants
It's a drugstore, but they're like, somebody brought them sweatpants
They said, "Fuck it, they'll buy them, just put them out, it's fine"

Right next to the sweatpants, vodka
Big plastic squirt top jugs of shit vodka
How depressing is that? Sweatpants and vodka
That's a whole identity, right there
You could buy those two things and just go be that guy in the parking lot of the Walgreen's
You know that dude in the sweatpants and no shirt, just laying there?
His belly's the color of the pavement, he's like a chameleon, he's been sleeping there so long

You know those bums that smell amazing?
Like, like, like you kinda can't help fantasizing about really smelling them on purpose
I don't know if you do that but
When you smell a bum and you're like
Fuck, what if I just really dug in there on purpose and
Wow! Like it'll change me or

And I go, so I go to Walgreens and they're selling, you know
I'm going to the back of the pharmacy too
And the pharmacy's the most depressing place in the world
People in Walgreens are just milling around in flip-flops and hitting their kids in the toy aisle
Like beating their kids in front of toys
And then they go and buy medication, and they don't have insurance

They think they have insurance and they way don't
And every moment it's like a hidden camera joke
On all these people, it happens, it breaks my heart
They come up, they have a prescription
They're really happy because there's a solution to their problem in their hands
The doctor said, "Take that, you'll be fine."
So they give it to the pharmacist, and he goes, "Yeah, it's going to be forty thousand for that"
And the guy's like, "What? But I have insurance"
Now we called, they said, "Fuck you. No"

And then the guy always gives them like, the chewed up gum with the hair in it and says
"Take this, this is what you get, this is your-"
And they always ask, "Is this as good as the other one?"
Fucking no, of course not!
The other shit would've cured you completely!
And we got shitloads of it too!
But nothing for you, you poor faggot, go home and die!