Download Lagu Roy D. Mercer - Dead Trees

Lirik Dead Trees

Ms. Nelson, my name is Roy Mercer
I'm calling you from down here at the Broken Bow
Listen, I got a hold of one of y'all's newsletters
One of y'all's old WA newsletters
I got a Christmas tree farm down here
About an acre of scotch pines and spruces and such
And they got infested with them beetles
That you was talking about in your newsletter
Uh... the it's still
Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh

Yeah, and I followed your advice and
Sprayed them things with herbicides
And it killed all my trees
Wait a minute. I never gave any advice about spraying with herbicide
Herbicide is a tree killer
Well, maybe you had a misprint in your letter
Because that's what it said, some herbicide
No. Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute
I got some scotch pines
There's supposed to be some folks' Christmas trees come

December, and I ain't got a dang
Got one of them
Oh, God. Okay, all right, first place
The bulletin stated that you can't even spray an Ips beetle infestation
With insecticide because they live under the bark, okay?
So spraying won't do them any good
I guarantee it won't have killed mine
Well, God, if you used a herbicide
Well, I'm just following the instructions in your dadgum bulletin
Don't you all research them things out?

Don't you know what'll happen if you spray them trees with that stuff?
Yeah, I sure do, and I would never, no, no, there was no misprint
Okay, wait a minute, let's think about this. You have
We can make this real easy if you just write me out a check
Because I lost, I figure, around 120 trees
And come Christmas time I usually get about 50 dollars apiece for them
Okay, well, how big were your trees?
That's about eight foot, six to eight foot
Wait a minute. Do you know what kind of herbicide you use?
Because most herbicides don't kill pines

It's whatever it was in that bulletin
I don't know what you'd said in there
I never said herbicide
Well, I took it down to the co-op
And they gave me what they thought was right
I got about 6,000 dollars in lost income
I'm going to have to try to make up
And I'm retired
I supplement it with, you know, guiding fishing trips
Here and there from time to time

If you just make me out of check
I guarantee you, I just forget the whole thing
Okay, now, yeah, well, wait a minute, Okay, first place
We are a non-profit organization of woodland owners, okay?
And our main purpose is protection of private property rights and education
Of woodland owners so people don't make mistakes like you just made
And I take it you're not a member
Well, my main purpose is to try to keep, you know
Everything afloat here and keep my family, you know, taken care of
Oh, well, sure. I understand that, Mr. Mercer

We ain't going to have any Christmas money this year
Mr. Mercer, if you read that
I'll probably get my wife to have to braid
A lock of her hair into a watch fob for me
Well, I guarantee you we'd have to make crafts or something
Because we ain't got no money to buy no presents or won't when it comes time
Oh, listen, I'm sorry
I don't mean to laugh, but I cannot envision anyone spraying
An acre of pines with herbicide
And expecting that to kill the Ips beetle

Well, can you envision an ass-whooping?
Because that's what it's going to come down to
If I don't get some satisfaction out of this thing
Okay, now hold it, Jack. You don't know who you're talking to
Well, I ain't usually one to whoop a woman's ass, but my wife
Oh, don't let that get in your way
My wife's pretty tore up about it
I might send her down there
Go ahead. You'd never find me
I'm down in the Cayamichi Mountains, but I'll tell you what

Give me your address, and I'll meet you at the damn gate
By God, you give me your address and I'll send her down there
Well, I certainly will, and I'll tell you what, I'll do more than that
She'd never be able to find it
I'll meet her up on the damn highway
Well, my God, when?
You just pack yourself a lunch and come on down. I'll wait for you
I might not probably have to drive her
Look, all right, wait a minute, wait a minute
Okay, let's talk about this rationally

You've got an acre of trees that you've sprayed
With herbicide that are dead, okay?
That's what it looked like
All right. I don't know why you sprayed them with herbicide
Because the bulletin... I didn't say that. I said
Listen, if you just make me out a check about 6,000 dollars
I believe that'd just about pay my student loan off
You could make it out to Mark Nelson if you would
He'd pay his student loan off old Mark Nelson
Mark Nelson's my son

He's pulling a joke on you
The Lord of Mercy
Pat, this is Phil and Brent and Roy Mercer
From up here in Tulsa, Oklahoma
Oh, pack a lunch, Pat!
Whoop her ass!
Oh, you darn right I was gonna!
I tell you what, I can lift a 50-pound feed bag now
With no problem, so I can take anybody
Believe me, Pat, we don't want to tangle with you

I guarantee you we're quivering in our waiting boots right now
I'll tell you what, my mouth better be quivering
When I'm going to whip somebody's butt
For sure when I catch up with that boy
What the hell is he going to school for
That's costing him 6,000 dollars?
So what did he go, about two weeks?
Well, he darn sure won't be able to go anywhere
For a while when I catch up with him
I don't believe this